No More Rooftops or Deserts for Me

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” 

Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)

   I wasn’t the only person in the long checkout line who tried to casually peek around to see the owner of the woman’s voice. At any given time, hundreds of people are shopping and talking in this department store. But the one-sided conversation began to feel like an annoying bee that keeps trying to nest in your hair on a hot summer day as you balance on a tall ladder with a paintbrush. You just want it to stop. Immediately.

   The longer this woman spoke, the higher the pitch of her voice. The higher the pitch, the harsher the comments. These were some of her nicer comments to her husband: “You never take me anywhere. All you do is work in the yard or play golf with your buddies. But THIS woman has needs, too. I need to go shopping. I need to see MY friends. I need to have a social life. Why can’t you understand that?” His response was a mumbled “yes” or “okay” or an occasional nodding of his head. 

   While I admit I had no idea what caused this woman’s observations, I did have a few of my own. First, he HAD taken her somewhere – shopping – which covered two of the  “needs” on her list. Secondly, I silently wondered if she even HAD any friends or social life, if she spoke as negatively around them as she did her husband. 

   I glanced one last time at him: shoulders drawn together and hunched over the cart, eyes glancing at her with a silent pleading to at least stop the negative talking until they could be out of the store, teeth clenched together so tightly that water could not get between them. His body language was more deafening than his wife’s shrill voice.

   Solomon must have been married to a woman just like the one I listened to in the checkout line. Not once but four times in Proverbs, he wrote about a woman who made him long for solitude in a desert or on the corner of a roof rather than living with her. He even wrote that she reminded him of a constant dripping that wouldn’t stop.

   But Solomon also wrote about a precious woman in chapter 31 of Proverbs. He described her as being like a rare and priceless jewel. She was a woman who worked hard in her home and her community and loved her family, but what he admired most about her was her love and reverence for the Lord.

   I wonder . . . if  Proverbs were written about me, what might it say? Would my neighbors look out the window and exclaim, “Oops. There’s LeRoy on the corner of the roof of the house again. Must be another crabby, nagging day for Nancy!” Or would they see my love for the Lord and how I am doing everything I can to honor my husband and respect him as Scripture teaches? 

   My prayer for each of you is that, in your marriages, there would be no references to corners of roofs or deserts or constant drips, but instead, it would be spoken: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but (insert your name) is a woman who fears the Lord and is to be praised.”

   Father, forgive me for the times I have spoken to my husband in such a way that would make him want to be on a roof or desert alone. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.  

R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

• Have you ever listened to conversations around you that were like the one described in the devotion?

• Did you consider that you have had similar conversations with your husband without realizing how they sounded?

 Apply

• Memorize Proverbs 21:9. Write it on note cards and place it around your home.

• When you are tempted to speak like the quarrelsome wife in that Scripture, picture your husband sitting on a roof corner rather than with you. Then ask the Lord to help you become a Proverbs 31 woman and wife to your husband.

 Power 

• Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

• Proverbs 31:30 (NIV) “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

• Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

 

I Would Never React That Way . . .Uh Oh

 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 (NIV)

       The email that came yesterday was from one of my former students from several years earlier. The first sentence caught my attention: “Hi Nancy. I hope you are doing well,” it began, followed by “Because I am not!”

       My mind immediately went to several scenarios. Is she sick? Or her husband or one of her three daughters? Have they experienced a financial loss? Does she need prayer? I quickly read on: “How could you do that to me? I was one of your students! You have known me since I was in kindergarten!” 

       I found myself re-reading those last three sentences in confusion. Yes, I had known her for several years, but after she and her family moved to the East Coast, our only communication consisted of comments on each other’s Facebook posts. And that was the problem.

      She continued: “On Facebook, I shared with everyone that my youngest daughter might have learning issues. I was worried about the tests she would need and the possibility of hearing aids as a baby. My friends are all sharing prayers, and they understood, except for you. You hit the LAUGHING emoji! Why? As a nurse, you know how devastating hearing loss is, especially for a baby not a year old. You have broken my heart!”

      I knew instantly what had happened. I am terrible at tagging the right emoji on Facebook. I have gone back so many times and changed what I had meant to convey from the wrong emoji to the right one when I remembered to put my glasses on. And what should have been an oops moment and a “good grief” at me instead became a huge issue for my student.

       Immediately, I sent back an email with “I am so sorry!” in the subject line. Then my explanation followed. “Please forgive me, but I hit the wrong emoji. I meant to hit the caring one and want you to know that I have been praying for your daughter. I would never intentionally laugh at someone’s heartache or whatever they are going through. I am changing it right this minute. Again, please forgive me for not double-checking my response.” And I hit “send.”

      That should have been the end of this unfortunate mistake, but it wasn’t. I received four more emails from her over the next month outlining why it was important to send the right message with the right emoji (and links to articles written on that very subject). 

      “I would never react in such an angry way if this happened to me,” I told myself. “I  would have shrugged and forgotten it because I would have known she had just hit the wrong image,” I reasoned. But, as He often does, the Lord reminded me of an incident in which I acted in the very same way as my student. 

      A car had pulled up beside me at a stoplight. I was in the left turn lane, and the woman beside me was in the lane that went straight ahead. But she didn’t. As the light turned green and I began my left turn, she also turned left. I came extremely close to hitting her. I  hit my brakes and allowed her to go in front of me to avoid a collision.  

      She did not hit me, nor did I hit her. I’m not even sure she saw me.  It was not a big deal, but the more I thought about it, the more I determined that she should have watched more closely where she was, which escalated to her needing glasses and ended up with her needing to lose her license! Oh, and it doesn’t stop there. I told three of my friends and made it sound like the Daytona 500 with me saving the day to avoid a fatal accident. Mercy!

      Here’s what it comes down to: I am told in James 1:19 to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Not in some conversations or situations, but in all instances. As a Christian, and as an example of Christ’s love, I need to listen to everything around me with both my eyes and my heart, refuse to respond negatively, and deny anger a place in my thought closet.  

     I knew there was only one humbling solution to my sin: I went before the Lord to ask for forgiveness, and then I went to my three friends and asked them to forgive me for my attitude, for speaking without thinking, and for senseless anger. Those precious ladies all accepted my apology quickly and without judgment. 

       Am I more careful about hitting the wrong emoji on Facebook? I am. But I am also very thankful for a woman who took a wrong turn at a stoplight and a Father who knew I needed to be reminded that my reaction to this world must be in line with Him. 

      Father, I want my life to reflect you. Forgive me when I forget that. Help me to throw out anything in my life that does not glorify you. In Jesus’s name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

* Have you ever gotten angry over something that was completely unimportant?

* Why do you think you reacted as you did?

Apply

* Memorize James 1:19. Keep a notecard in your purse with that Scripture on it.

* When a situation happens and you are tempted to do the opposite of this Scripture, take a deep breath, remind yourself Who your Father is, and act like His child. 

Power

* James 1:19 ( NIV) “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

* Psalm 103:8 (NIV) “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.”  

* Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” 

Right Where the Lord Wants You To Be

 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and who have been called according to his purpose.” 

Romans 8:28 (NIV)

    Jan, a good friend of mine, shared a lesson she learned in, of all places, a supermarket! She had decided to make a quick stop on her way home for one item. The evening meal had already been planned along with a restful outing to the park with her husband and children and the supermarket was the last thing on her list.

    After picking up a gallon of milk, Jan scanned the three open checkout lanes and stepped behind a gentleman in checkout lane one, by far the shortest line. Silently going over what she had accomplished on her “to do” list and what she had left to do, Jan noticed that no one in front of her had moved for several minutes.

    Peering around the customer in front of her, she saw the cashier struggling to figure out what was wrong with his computer. “Just one thing – that’s all I’ve got,” she groaned silently. “Why is it always MY line that gets messed up?”

    A glance to her right showed lane two with a much shorter line and she quickly moved a few steps over and took her place behind a woman with four children but only three items. “This should do it,” she smiled.

    Her relief that she would soon be on her way home was shattered by a loud intercom announcement: “Lisa, I need help on two with the register, please.” She then watched in amazement at the arrival of a young woman that Jan determined could not have been more than 12 years of age who frowned at the cash register as if it should spring into life instantaneously and apologize for its bad behavior.

    “I just want to get home…in this week!” she thought. A quick maneuver to a third line proved to be a fatal mistake as she watched the newly hired cashier struggle to determine the price of a head of cabbage.

    With an exasperated shrug, Jan proceeded to go back to her original line and endure whatever came her way. Her sigh of frustration got the attention of a young man in front of her and he turned slightly and smiled. Jan, believing that he must be sharing her irritation, said “This just isn’t my night to check out! I’ve been in these lines forever!” The young man, though, had another idea. He leaned toward Jan and quietly commented “You are right where God wants you to be.”

    In that moment Jan realized that the importance of checking out quickly and going home was overshadowed by the truth in what the young man said. God has a plan in all circumstances and situations. 

    Perhaps her delay saved her from being in an accident. Maybe God wanted her to encourage someone waiting in line with her. Perhaps He just wanted her to slow down, take a deep breath, and consider how blessed she was to be able to go to a supermarket, shop and pay for what she wanted.

    Or maybe, just maybe, God wanted her to be in that exact place, at that exact time, so that a young man could remind her that she was right where her loving Heavenly Father wanted her to be.

    Father, help me to slow down and look around at where you have allowed me to be at this particular moment. Show me someone I can encourage.  In Jesus’ Name. Amen

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Do you often find yourself getting frustrated when you are unable to get everything done as quickly as you would like?

• What is your reaction when situations seem out of your control, and you are forced to wait on someone or something?

Apply

• The next time you are in a long line at a store and feeling frustrated, take a deep breath and silently praise the Lord for a blessing He has given you as each item is being purchased by the person in front of you.

• Keep one of the power Scriptures for today in your purse. When a frustrating wait in line occurs, pull out that verse and read it as you wait.

Power 

• James 4:13-14 (NIV) “Now listen, you who say 'today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

• Philippians 4:6 (NIV) “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

• 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV) “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”