What Happens When I Don't Forgive

 “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NIV)

   It’s hard to describe the surge of intense anger I instantly felt when I heard the voice behind me. “I bet you don’t remember me . . .” I forced a smile on my face as I turned to greet her, but on the inside, I was raging. Surely she could see my shirt jumping from the pounding of my heart! My hands clenched and unclenched as I battled a deep desire to grab her and scream, “How dare you come up to me after everything you did?”

   But instead I replied, “Yes, I do remember you. It’s been a long time,” as she squeezed my hand and smiled. I had not forgotten her or how she had treated me many years before, as we rode the school bus together day after day, but evidently she had. She was 5 years older than me and never bothered to glance my way when she was by herself. But when her best friend was with her, she suddenly became bold in her comments, and they bruised my heart much worse than if she had physically hit me and left a mark on my skin.

   She would always sit in the seat behind me and speak to her friend in a stage whisper. “Nancy is so skinny. I bet she has some terrible disease and is going to die!” she would tell her friend. Or “Do you know what I heard about Nancy’s mother?” she would whisper loudly and then make up a horrible story that, while I knew it wasn’t true, hurt me terribly. And if I began to cry at what she said, she would immediately make fun of me for the tears. I cannot describe the relief that I felt on the day she graduated because I knew that I would not be hurt by her anymore.

   Can I just be completely honest with you? I was in total shock at my reaction to her voice and my vivid, detailed memories of her behavior years before! Until the exact moment that I heard her voice, I thought I had forgiven her and had forgotten what had happened!  I had read Scriptures on forgiving someone who has hurt you. I had given countless talks at women’s groups on forgiveness. I had encouraged members in my Sunday school class to forgive. But I had not.

   Instead, I had planted my anger and resentment and hurt deep into the soil of my heart, and I had allowed it to take root and grow – for years. Then I read Mark 11:25, and I came face to face with my Father and His Word. He is direct and to the point: He will not forgive me for sinning against Him if I have not done the same: forgiven those who have sinned against me. There is no addendum attached that says “this Scripture only applies if the offender is truly sorry and asks you for forgiveness.” Nope. It says “forgive.” Period.

   Hard to do? At times, oh yes, but so much easier if you ask the Lord for help. And that is exactly what I did. First, I asked Him to forgive me for my attitude and then to pull the anger, hurt, and resentment out of my heart and replace them with mercy, grace, and forgiveness. His answer was “yes.” And one more point – just because you have forgiven does not mean that you will forever forget what happened. 

    But instead of continually allowing yourself to become angry and bitter, use your memory as an opportunity to remind yourself how badly you felt and resolve to never EVER treat someone as you were treated. Then thank the Lord for His mercy and forgiveness toward you. Have you been hurt or wronged or sinned against? Jesus understands completely. His example? Forgive so that we may be forgiven.

   Father, please reveal to me any instance when I have not forgiven someone who has hurt or wronged me. I want to forgive as you do. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Is there someone in your life, past or present, who hurt you deeply?

• Have you truly forgiven that person, or do you feel anger and resentment every time you think about them?

Apply

• Journal the initials of people that you know or have known who have hurt you or sinned against you.

• Beside each one, write “I forgive you as my Father has forgiven me.” And lift up each one to the Lord.

Power

• Mark 11:25 (NIV) “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

• Colossians 3:13 (NIV) “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

• Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

 

Burned Beyond Belief

 “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?” Proverbs 6:27 (NIV)

   My first Girl Scout overnight camping experience is one I will never forget. We all took sleeping bags as well as cooking utensils, toothbrushes, and extra clothes. There was a lot to see and explore, but the best part was the evening campfire . . . and roasting marshmallows.

   There were 30 of us campers, so each girl was given only one marshmallow. It was up to us how we wanted to roast it. Some ate it “raw” without warming it at all. Some liked just a slight brown “tan” with a bit of crisp to it.

   But me? I liked mine burned on the outside. I had a method for roasting marshmallows. I would hold the roasting stick down in the flames until the marshmallow caught fire, and then quickly blow it out. Charred marshmallow = best flavor in the world!

   We took turns gathering around the campfire, and I could hardly wait to hold my stick in the flames and watch as the marshmallow burned. My turn came, but as I raised my marshmallow to blow out the flames, I realized that I had let it “cook” too long in the fire, and it was barely clinging to the stick!

    In a matter of seconds, the unthinkable happened: my marshmallow began to fall. One marshmallow! That’s all we were given: ONE! To me, there was only ONE thing to do: just as it slid off the stick, I grabbed it with my hand, flames and all. Just as quickly, I realized my mistake and dropped the gooey blob, but the damage was done. I had major burns on the palm and fingers of my right hand.

   In Scripture, Proverbs 6:27 also talks about being burned, but in a spiritual way. Solomon warns that there is no way a man can put fire in his lap or walk on coals without being burned. What in the world is he talking about? Simply put: Solomon is asking questions with obvious answers.

   What do you have in your life that you are holding on to, even though you know that you are going to get “burned” by it eventually? Let’s see. What about an inappropriate relationship or a questionable business deal? Maybe it’s a habit of gossiping, but calling it sharing.  Perhaps it is allowing anger and resentment toward someone to boil in your heart.

    Each one will eventually result in heartache. Why? It is impossible to engage in sin without escaping and suffering the consequences. Impossible.

   All I could think of at the campfire was a marshmallow. I never stopped to think of the damage that would most certainly follow as I caught it – burning – in my hand. 

   Please look closely at your life. Holding on to sin can only result in being burned beyond belief.

    Father, I choose today to give you those sins in my life that are only going to “burn” me or those I love. Thank you for your forgiveness. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R. A. P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Can you name something in your life that you are holding on to, even though you know it is against God’s will for you?

• What is keeping you from letting go of it and giving it to the Lord?

Apply

• Ask the Lord to show you sins in your life that you are holding on to that are against His teachings in the Word.

• Beside each entry, list the people who could be “burned” by those sins. Confess each sin to the Lord, repent, and lay them at His feet.

Power 

• Proverbs 6:27 (NIV) “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?”

• Luke 9:24 (NIV) “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.”

• I John 2:15 (NIV) “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

The Power In Four little Words

 “The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said . . .” 

Matthew 28: 5-6 (NIV)

    I am amazed at the significance that four little words can have in our lives. Let me give you some examples:

  "The toilet is overflowing.”   (“Where is the plunger?”)

“My mother-in-law is early.” (“The house is trashed!”)

“You have been fired.”       (“I have no job.”)

   But perhaps the most significant, most important four words that have ever been spoken, I believe, are these: “Just as He said.”

   In Matthew 28, we are told that after the Sabbath, two women went to the tomb where the body of Jesus had been placed after He was crucified. They needed to prepare Jesus’ body for permanent burial.

   However, when the women arrived, they found an angel sitting on the stone that had previously been rolled in front of the tomb opening. In verses 5 and 6, we read, “The angel said to the women,  “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said . . .”

   If we can’t believe Jesus, if we can’t take Him at His Word - “just as He said” - then there is no need for the Bible. Forget Scripture, forget the promises, forget forgiveness and grace, and certainly forget resurrection and salvation. 

   But, if we DO believe those four little words with such a powerful meaning, then nothing prevents us from believing every other promise He has made in His Word.

Promises like this: Isaiah 41:13 (NIV):  “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Or the promise in Hebrews 13:5 that “. . .  Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

   And one of my favorite promises in Scripture: “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12 (NIV)

   The choice is ours: take God at His Word or rely on our earthly wisdom. I choose four little words that promise Truth in everything He says.  What about you?

   Father, I do not understand everything that is in your Word, but I believe you and trust you with my life every minute of every day. Keep my focus on you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Is God’s Word also God’s Truth in your life?

• Do you find that you sometimes doubt whether God really means what He says to you in His Word?

Apply

• Keep a daily journal of the Lord’s promises to you.

• Begin each entry with “Just as He said . . .” and then write down His promise.

Power

• Matthew 28: 5-6 (NIV) “The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said…”

• Proverbs 30:5-6 (NIV) “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar.”

• John 17:17 (NIV) “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.”