Hurt With Me

  “Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”   Matthew 26:38 (NIV)

   There are so many things I do not remember on that particular day in August. Was it hot or cool? Sunny? Cloudy? Did I have specific plans for the day? I honestly do not know. But one thing I do remember - and will never forget - is that on that day a good friend hurt with me.

   My husband had passed away suddenly an hour and a half earlier. The funeral home had just left and I was standing in the yard, reminding myself to breathe, trying to make sense of what had happened. Shocked. Confused. And hurting.

    That’s when I heard the truck barreling down our road. It turned into our yard and Mike jumped out of the truck before it had come to a complete stop. All I heard was my name repeated over and over. He didn’t say “He’s in heaven” or “It will get better with time.” What he DID do was cry with me. And share my pain. He simply hurt with me. 

   The loss of someone you love is excruciatingly hard. The heartache is palpable; being punched in the gut repeatedly would not hurt as much. Those around you see that you are hurting and as much as possible, they hurt for you. They want you to “feel better.” They want the former person you were to come back. So they feel they must say something to take the pain away.

Wonderful, precious friends - thank you for trying but there are no words to make everything better. Thank you for caring. For praying. For loving. For being concerned that you might say the wrong thing that would only add to my pain. I understand. So, instead, could I ask you to do this:

Hurt with me. Just as Mike did. Grieve with me. Allow me to grieve. When you do that, you are validating my heartache. I know you are sad for me. I know you are heartbroken for me. I love that you love me. So please, just as Mike did, simply hurt with me. 

   Father, thank you for friends who are willing to grieve with me, to hurt with me. Thank you for Jesus who understands and who loves us deeply. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. 

R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

• Have you ever been afraid that you would say the wrong thing to someone who has lost a loved one?

• Did you consider other things that you could do for them?

Apply

• Pray pray pray over the entire family of the loved one who passed away.

• Offer hugs, food, stamps, paper products, and your presence. Be available.

Power

• Matthew 26:38 (NIV) “Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” 

• Galatians 6:2 (NIV) “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” 

• Psalm 34:18 (NIV) “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”