Taking Back Gossip

 “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”  

Psalm 141:3 (NIV)

     There aren’t too many new gadgets or ideas that get my attention. I have always been a bit skeptical about most of them - that is, until a few years ago when I saw a shelf at a local store full of packages labeled “Bed in A Bag.” I couldn’t take my eyes off the photograph on each bag of a beautifully made bed without a wrinkle or pillow out of place.

    But what intrigued me even more was the fact that everything that made that bed beautiful – the comforter, bed skirt, sheets, two pillow shams, two pillowcases, and three throw pillows – ALL of it was in one bag!

   I could not resist and left the store with a king-size purchase in shades of lavender and gray. I could hardly wait to get home and open it. I imagined the experience would be similar to taking a dry, flat sponge and placing it in a sink of water: it would suddenly expand to 20 times its normal size in 5 seconds. I was right. But there was a problem.

  As I unzipped the bag and the contents tumbled out, I immediately saw that my king-sized comforter was actually a queen-size. Either the bag had been mislabeled or someone had switched comforters in the store. “Easy solution,” I thought. “I’ll just return it and exchange it for the right size.”

   But as I began to put everything back into the bag, I could tell that it was not going to be as easy as I thought. I folded, pushed, and shoved sheets and pillows but could not get the entire contents BACK in the bag! I also ended up with a broken zipper on a ripped bag. No matter how hard I worked, I could not put everything back like it was.

    Gossip is like that, isn’t it? We allow it to roll out of our hearts and off our tongues so easily, disguising what we say with “I’m telling you so you can be praying.” But just like the bed in the bag, it’s easy to speak out and much harder to take back. The result? Lives get ripped apart and hearts broken from careless words and comments that do not need to be spoken or shared with anyone.

   Scripture is clear on this issue. Proverbs 12:18 says “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”  Ephesians 4:29 goes further: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up . . .” That is not a suggestion, my friends. And it could not be any clearer. Let me share an example of “reckless words.”

   A woman went to her minister to confess gossip that she had shared. She knew it was wrong and untrue and yet that did not stop her. One day she saw all the damage done by the rumors she had spread and she was broken. She immediately asked her minister how she could change what had happened to make everything right.

   He responded by taking her to a hill, cutting open a feather pillow, and shaking it in the air. Thousands of feathers were lifted and twirled by a breeze and – within minutes – were scattered for miles. “Now,” he said, “collect all these feathers and put them back in the pillow, for that is easier than trying to reverse the damage that has been done by the gossip that you spoke.” The woman could only hang her head in shame because she knew that her task was impossible and the damage could never be completely reversed. The same is true with gossip.

    As for the contents of the “Bed in a Bag,” I was never able to put back everything in the package. And neither can we “put back” all the damage that is done when our hearts ignore the words of Jesus and we speak gossip.

    Father, forgive me for gossiping. Help me remember that I am your child and you desire me to build up and not tear down those around me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. 

 R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Think about the times you have shared gossip and followed it with “I’m telling you so you can be praying.” Is that always true?

• Are there times when information does need to be shared so people can pray? Why or why not?

Apply

• Memorize 2 Timothy 2:16-17 and speak it to your heart when tempted to listen to and share gossip.

• Be on guard for those moments when someone wants to share gossip with you. Always be ready to encourage and build up rather than tear down.

 Power

• Psalm 141:3 (NIV)  “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

• 2 Timothy 2:16-17 (NIV) “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. Their teaching will spread like gangrene . . .”

• Proverbs 12:18 says “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

With A Little Help From My Friend

 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)

   The game of volleyball is one of power, positioning, and endurance. It involves the use of every muscle in the body to serve, pass, set, attack, block, and dig. But perhaps the most important part of volleyball is this: it is a team sport. 

   Everyone has to work together as a team to win. Just one member of the team playing hesitantly or timidly or not trusting other members to do their job can cause the whole team to falter and ultimately, to lose. I read about a coach who understands the meaning of “team sport” and has a fantastic plan. 

   To help the members of her team learn to count on each other, she begins the volleyball season with a one-mile endurance run that every girl has to finish. When the faster runners are through, they hurry back to the track to encourage those still running. They stand on the sidelines and yell “Come on! Come on! You can do this! I know you can!” as teammates run by.

   But that is not all. Other members take that encouragement to a new level. They grab the hand of anyone slowing down or struggling to continue and they run together. “Come on. Just a few more feet. I’m here with you. We can do this!” they yell as they run a fourth of the distance.

   At that point yet another teammate grabs the hand and off they go, cheering for several more feet before someone else joins in. This continues until every single team member has finished the race. By running alongside their team members and holding on to them, they are learning to count on each other to work together as one. In effect, they are saying “I’m here for you. No matter how long it takes, we – you and I – will get through together.”

   We know that in our daily lives, the race isn’t a mile run but something entirely different: it is a young mom trying to raise her children alone because her husband decided to leave; it may be a physically and emotionally worn out daughter caring 24/7 for a mother with Alzheimer’s or it could be a grandmother teaching a Sunday school class with a boy who is struggling with ADHD.

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   Can I ask you a question? Are you the one cheering on the sidelines, yelling “Come on! You can do it. I’m praying for you!” That is fantastic. But have you ever considered grabbing the hand of the hurting and saying “I’m here with you. We will get through this together. What can I do to help?” and then following through? 

   Are both important? Absolutely! Encouragement for those who are hurting or struggling is wonderful but we must also consider that we need to “run beside them” and offer a hand to help as they finish the race they are running. Will you let me take your hand and run beside you? We can do it – together! 

   Father, help me not to be afraid to take the hand of someone in need and stay by her side no matter what she is facing. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Have you seen someone struggling with a situation but didn’t step up and take their hand as they were trying to get through it?

• What kept you from offering that hand of encouragement?

Apply

• Pray about situations in which you know that someone needs not only prayer but a helping hand.

• Ask the person struggling if you can come alongside her and help. And then follow through with that offer.

Power

• Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

• Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

• Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Open Wide!

 "I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." Psalm 81:10 (NIV)

   The Andy Griffith Show was one of my favorite television programs as a young girl. Every week Sheriff Andy Taylor, his Aunt Bee, son Opie, and Deputy Barney Fife found themselves in a situation that seemed impossible to solve. Somehow, by the end of the 30-minute show, an answer was found - but not without hilarious moments for everyone involved. 

    One particular show had Aunt Bee out of town visiting relatives, Opie on a Scout trip, and Andy looking forward to a relaxing evening at home. That is until a friend arrives who wants to keep him company and even fixes Andy’s favorite meal: spaghetti. Andy cannot resist and eats beyond being full. Suddenly Andy remembers that he had been invited to another friend’s home for supper! He quickly drives to their house, only to find out that he has come for supper on the wrong night. 

   But this friend insists that Andy join him and his wife as they eat a meal of – what else – spaghetti. Andy proceeds to eat the second spaghetti supper. Suddenly he realizes where he is actually supposed to be: at his girlfriend’s home for supper! He excuses himself after the meal and hurries to her home – for a third spaghetti meal! He is barely able to choke it down and finally has to admit that he cannot eat one more bite. By the time Andy arrives home, he is so full that his relaxing evening turns into one of major indigestion and he vows to never eat spaghetti again. 

   There is a big difference between Andy being filled with three spaghetti meals and God filling us. Psalm 81:10 says  "I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it." We will never reach a point where we are so full of wisdom from God’s Word that we cannot take one more “bite.” He is continually filling us up through teaching, correcting, disciplining, forgiving, and directing our lives.

    When God says “Open wide your mouth,” He is describing a child who eagerly longs for food. In the same way, as we long for His Word, He encourages us to open our hearts to what He wants us to learn. He says, “If you really want to grow in your faith, open your heart as you open the Word and I fill you with my heart.” I encourage you today to open wide the Word of God and allow Him to fill you with the wisdom and love only He can give.

  Father, I desire more than anything to dig deep into your Word and to be continually filled with your wisdom, love, and direction for my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect 

• Have you ever had a day where you felt like there wasn’t that much more that you could learn from reading God’s Word?  

• If so, could that have been because you were so filled with the world’s wisdom that there wasn’t room for one “bite” of wisdom from God?

Apply 

• As you go through the Scriptures, journal the meal you received from a particular passage. For example, journal the “meat” (message) or what you read, and write how you can apply it to your life.

• Ask God to “fill up” your mouth as you “open wide” your heart to His teaching.

Power                                                                                                              

• Psalm 81:10 (NIV) "I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it."

• Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV) "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever, amen!"

• Psalm 119:103 (NIV) "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"

I Really Want to be Kind

 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

Romans 7:15 (NIV)

   Right before I climbed out of bed early one morning, I lifted my day to the Lord. I asked Him to direct my attitude to be one of kindness and compassion; to help me see anyone hurting or needing encouragement; to overlook an unkind attitude toward me; to ignore hurtful things and instead look for good in everyone. Requests sincerely spoken from my heart as I tell Jesus I want to be like Him. And then I go to the gym.

   The one with the music blasting at a “permanently damage and rupture your eardrum” level turns the music UP louder when I ask if he could turn it down just a bit. Immediately anger begins to grow as I quietly wish he would pull a muscle and have to leave.  I really DO want to be like Jesus but to this guy, Lord? Are you kidding?

   Then I followed an elderly woman driving 10 mph in a 40 mph zone as I hurried to the store. She signaled she was turning left and then suddenly swerved back into my lane and never realized that I came within inches of hitting her. Honestly! Why in the world is she even driving? Impatience and unkind thoughts join the anger already building in my heart.

   And if that wasn’t enough, I had to deal with yet another call to the phone company and explain for the 5th  time that my bill was incorrect and I had never made any calls to a foreign country nor had I ever called one in my entire life. After I was transferred to the third department head with an “I’m sorry” but the mistake was not corrected, I found myself asking the Lord out loud: “You want me to be okay with this, Lord? Those who don’t care about my problem? I’m supposed to be kind to them?”

  It is 10 a.m. and I have already done the complete opposite of what I had just prayed only hours earlier. What in the world is wrong with me? Paul, in Romans 7:15, totally understood what we are facing. He writes “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” Sound familiar? That’s us!

   Paul was a Godly man who loved the Lord with all his heart and yet he struggled with the very attitudes and emotions that we struggle with every single day.  I truly long to be like Jesus. I want to be His hands and feet and for people to know by my actions that I serve Him with every part of my life. And yet, I fail again and again. 

   Thankfully, we have a Father who understands that we will fail repeatedly because we are human and weak. We allow sin to creep in and unfortunately try to determine for ourselves just who WE think we should be kind to in our lives.

   The Lord has given us a helper as we maneuver through every day. He is the Holy Spirit. We read in John 14:26 “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, who the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

  He is the nudge in your heart that says “Take a deep breath. You have no idea what is going on in her life.” He whispers “You just did that same thing yesterday and you are forgiven.” He reminds me that the Lord of my life is the Lord of all. And that He loves everyone – no matter how loud the music or how slow the driver.

   And so I will try again. I will ask for a second chance. God replies with “Forgiven.” I will remind myself of Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” My blood pressure will go back to normal. My breathing will relax. And my heart will rejoice that God forgives us for the very things we get angry about with other people.

   Father, thank you for your patience and forgiveness with me as I try to live a life as you would have me live. I will focus on you and your word. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

•  Can you remember a time when you became angry over an incident someone did that you did yourself?

•  Why did you think that what they did was somehow “different” than you doing the same thing?

Apply

•  Journal your actions in the last week when someone did something to irritate you or make you mad and your reaction. 

• Thank the Lord for forgiving you for your negative reaction, take a deep breath, thank Him for His forgiveness, smile and praise Him for what He has done in your life. Repeat as necessary.

Power

• Romans 7:15 (NIV) “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”

• John 14:26 (NIV) “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, who the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

•  Colossians 3:13 (NIV) “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”