I Have It On Tape

  “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)

    That was it! I was done! Once again, even after repeated reminders, my husband had walked into the bathroom and dropped his socks b-e-s-i-d-e the clothes hamper. Not IN the hamper, but beside it! I could feel my jaw tighten as I scrolled through my mental list of zingers to throw his way. “Are you blind?” “How hard is it to open the hamper and drop in the socks? Too much effort?” “Do I look like your mother? Your maid? Your servant?”

   And then I did what I believed all wives were required to do: I stored that incident in my mind along with all the other times that socks were dropped on the floor, and anniversaries and birthdays were forgotten and an empty toilet paper roll was left in the bathroom and . . . you get the picture.

   You probably know what came next, too. A little thing – my husband was 5 minutes late picking me up from work – and I hit him square in the heart with every single thing that I believed he had done wrong since the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately what I just described didn’t happen just once in our marriage but that scene was repeated over and over with few minor changes.

   Then one day the Lord had had enough of my behavior and He placed in my life an older Godly woman who shared her marriage with me. She talked about being a newlywed and her determination to change her husband into her idea of perfection. That continued for years until the day she received an unexpected life-changing gift from her son.

   He walked into the kitchen and said “Mom, I’ve been teaching myself how to use my cell phone to tape conversations so I taped you and Dad talking yesterday. Do you want to hear it?” She said she smiled as he hit “play” but in an instant the smile disappeared and the tears flowed as she listened to the tone of her voice during her conversation with her husband. 

   My dear friend confessed that not only was her voice negative and her words accusing and absolutely horrible but she could not escape the hurt in her husband’s voice as he barely answered “yes” or “no” to her questions.

   In that instant, she realized that instead of praising God for her husband and all the good qualities he brought to their marriage, she was literally ripping him and the marriage into pieces. “I went to my husband immediately and asked his forgiveness for my attitude,” she said, “and then I resolved to do everything I could to be the Godly wife that the Lord had called me to be.”

   I was completely convicted that day of my attitude of arguing and complaining toward my husband and our marriage, and I called him at work to ask his forgiveness. I would love to tell you that the toilet paper roll was always full after that and anniversaries were never forgotten again. Not true. But somehow socks next to the hamper were no longer as important as my acceptance and love of my husband, God’s gift to me. 

 

   Father, I thank you for my husband. May I always remember that he is your gift to me and treat him with the love and respect that he deserves. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• If someone were to tape-record your conversations with your husband, would you be ashamed or embarrassed by what you say and how you say it?

• Would the majority of your conversations be affirming and positive or demeaning and negative?

Apply

• Praise God daily for your husband and all the unique, wonderful qualities he brings to your marriage.

• Think of ways to praise and affirm your husband as an important part of your life and then tell him.

Power

• Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

• Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

• Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”

Aliens Do Exist

 “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.” I Peter 2:11 (NIV)

   “Light Beam on Mars Proof of Alien Life?” the article headlined this week, accompanied by a video supposedly showing a shaft of light coming from the planet’s surface. Immediately staunch supporters of alien life forms championed their cause and the equally strong opponents challenged every theory that was proposed concerning the light beam and aliens. And so it begins again.

   It seems like we who watch from the sidelines are periodically bombarded by photos from 50 years ago to the present, touted as “absolute proof” of aliens here on Earth while scoffers explain away each sighting as fake.

   There seems to be a huge fascination with the idea that aliens might be living among us and we aren’t aware of their presence. We are even treated occasionally to television shows and movies that feature a community of extraterrestrials living on Earth.

   Can I let you in on a secret? Aliens ARE living here on earth. They are called Christ followers . . . Christians. Read I Peter 2:11 as Peter cautions us “as aliens and strangers in the world” to remember who we are and the war that we are fighting every day against “sinful desires” that battle to capture our souls. But why warn us in this way?

   Peter understood the tendency for Christians to want to belong and fit in with people in the world around them. It’s an easy thing to do, isn’t it?  We hear the old saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” In other words, do what you need to do to fit in, no matter where you are or who you are with at the moment.  But that is the opposite of what the Lord wants us to do!

   Have you ever traveled to another country where you did not speak the language or understand the customs? While it can be scary, we are urged – not encouraged – but urged by Peter to live every day as if we were in that foreign country and absolutely did not fit in.

   For example, we should be speaking love and forgiveness when those around us are peddling hate and revenge. When the world is promoting wealth no matter the cost, we should be sharing the cost of the Cross with our neighbors.

   While the media is glorifying the powerful as gods, we must be focusing on the One True God and sharing Him with the lost living in this foreign land. We must be very aware of anything that conflicts with the Word and counter it with truth and love from Jesus.

  This is a temporary home for us. We truly must be aliens and strangers, passing through to our eternal home. I urge you today to live your life in such a way that people will look at you and say “There is absolute proof that aliens do live here on earth. They are called Christians.”

   Father, I pray that I will be able to stand strong every day as I share with those around me that you are the only way to eternal life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Have you ever been tempted to do whatever you needed to do to fit in with the crowd?

• Did your decision make it clear that you were a Christian? Why or why not?

Apply

• Journal situations that you are considering being a part of in your life.

• Beneath each one, write “alien” or “earthly” and back up your decisions with Scripture.

Power 

• I Peter 2:11 (NIV) “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.”

• I Chronicles 29:15 (NIV) “We are aliens and strangers in your sight, as were all our forefathers.”

• Matthew 10:22 (NIV) “All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.”

The Damage of A Dead Branch

 “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”

Romans 8:5 (NIV

 

   The “ice storm of the century” hit our part of the state where I live a few years ago. Schools were closed, electricity was out for about a week, and everyone scrambled to find ways to heat their homes. Had it not been for so many problems due to the storm, the sheer beauty of ice on the trees would have been breathtaking.

  Instead, people found themselves with damage to their yards and trees as the ice snapped one massive limb after another, causing them to plummet toward the ground, leaving deep scars from the impact of the fall. I was not exempt from that damage in my yard.

    An enormous oak tree on the south side of my home was my best friend in the summer because of the shade it provided. The branches were massive, and the tree majestic. But as I began the process of cleaning up my yard after the storm, I discovered that a huge dead limb at the top of this tree had given in to the weight of the ice and had crashed to the ground, taking with it three healthy limbs. The damage was extensive. 

   As I looked at the destruction, my mind switched to the “dead limbs” that we all have in our lives. Maybe it’s gossip, jealousy, an anger issue, or always having to be right. Whatever they might be, the dead limbs in our lives can do unbelievable damage to our family, our friends, and even to people around us that we might not know well. But they do something else, too. They also damage our relationship with God.

    We are very foolish if we think that our wrong choices will have no consequences and that people will not be hurt or relationships ruined. “Yes, I am having an affair,” a friend confessed to me, “but it only affects the two of us. Nobody will get hurt.” My heart broke in pieces. Nobody hurt? What about your husband and children and his wife and the fact that you have destroyed their trust by your actions? One dead branch – an affair – fell to the ground and it took with it several once-healthy branches of spouses and children and trust.

    A young man that I had encouraged to take a different path and stop using drugs took me by the arms and said “Listen, I know you care about me. I get it. But just leave me alone and let me do my drugs. Nobody is getting hurt. I’m fine. It’s my life.”  And with each arrest and police report in the paper with his name in bold type, his family and friends who love him become casualties from the dead branch of drugs. 

   Our gift from the Lord – the ability to communicate with Him – is broken when we engage in behavior that does not glorify Him or reflect His will for our lives. David knew that because He wrote in Psalm 66:18 “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened . . .” David had found out the hard way that cherishing (taking pleasure in) behavior outside of the will of God results in heartache, a broken relationship with God, and consequences. As the dead branch fell – lusting after Bathsheba, a married woman – it ultimately resulted in the death of his son.  A healthy branch, a son, taken down by a father’s dead branch choice.

    I encourage you this very moment to examine your life for any dead branches that will eventually come crashing down and take healthy branches with them. Any focus outside of the will of God in your life will affect those around you and they will be hurt, or in some cases, even destroyed. Your relationship with God will be hurt as well. When you identify the dead limbs, repent, give them to the Lord, and ask Him to help you cut them off as quickly as possible. Then kneel before Him as He removes each branch and pulls you back into His presence.

    Lord, forgive me for allowing sin in my life. Please give me strength and courage as I cut off any branches in my life that do not glorify and honor you. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

 

R.A.P. it up . . .

 Reflect

• What branches do you have in your life that you have been trying to hide from the Lord?

• Think through each branch. What could be the result of holding on to these branches? Loved ones hurt? Relationships destroyed? Is the branch worth the pain it may cause?

Apply

• Dig into the Word and ask the Lord to show you those branches in your life that do not glorify Him.

• Make a list with the name of each branch and offer them all up to the Lord. Burn the paper as your offering to Him and your desire to reconnect with Him and His will for your life.

 

Power

• Romans 8:5 (NIV) “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”

• I Corinthians 10:31(NIV) “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

• Psalm 66:18 (NIV) “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened . . . “    

I Know Just How You Feel

  “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

    My frustration over the situation was growing by the second. “Why in the world won’t she listen to me?” I fumed inwardly.

   My daughter had just come into my bedroom for the fourth time in four days with the same request and repeatedly begged me to give her a different answer. I remained consistent and answered her in the same way every time but knew without a doubt that she would return before long and the whole scene would repeat itself.

   “Why won’t she listen, Lord?” I prayed out loud as I pulled open my closet door. “Day after day she comes to me with the same requests. Day after day I give her the same answers. I know she wants me to change my mind to her way of thinking but I truly know what is best for her. I am so frustrated that she won’t trust me as her parent to know what is best for her right now. She won’t even stop asking long enough to listen to me!”

  As I took a breath, the Lord spoke quietly to my heart: “I know just how you feel.” The shirt I was pulling out of my closet was suspended in mid-air as His Words sunk in: “I know just how you feel.” Up until that point it had never occurred to me that I was just like my teenager.

  How many times had I gone before the Lord with a request - day after day – and begged Him to change His thinking, answers, and viewpoint to match mine? I continued to lay the same request before Him and refused to listen to His answers because they were not what I wanted to hear. Ever been there?

  I admit that there have been many times when I have gone before the Lord and felt the need to give Him the answer that I wanted without asking for His will in my request. I also admit that when He did not answer in the way I wanted, my first response was not “What would you have me do, Lord?” but rather “Why won’t you do what I want, Lord?”

  We are told in Philippians 4:6 (NIV) to not be anxious about anything “but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  And He will give us whatever we want? No, He, as a loving Father, will give us whatever we need.  So should we go before the Lord once, present our request, and then never address it again? 

   Of course not. He is a Father who delights in meeting His children in prayer. But our attitude should be “What would you have me do, Lord?” and then wait on His answer, in His timing. God’s will is always best for His children. His answers are never wrong. And yes, He knows exactly how we feel.

   Father, so many times I have a demand and not a request and I don’t listen to you. Forgive me.  Teach me patience as I wait for your answers. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

 R.A.P. it up . . . 

 Reflect

• How often can you remember demanding an answer from God that you knew might not be in His will?

• What was your response when His answer was not what you wanted? Anger? Frustration? A determination to do what you wanted anyway? Or patience?

Apply

• Keep a journal of your prayer requests, including the date and time.

• Refer to your journal periodically to see how the Lord answered your prayer request.

Power 

• Psalm 46:10 (NIV) “Be still, and know that I am God.”

• I Corinthians 3:19 (NIV) “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight…”

• Matthew 7:9-11 (NIV) “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”