I Really Want to Know

 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

  I learned a great lesson from a foreign exchange student at our high school several years ago. Franco was staying with my son’s best friend and family so my son got to know him, too. The three boys were in my office after school one day and I couldn’t help but listen to the conversation.

 “You Americans,” Franco said, shaking his head and smiling. “I don’t get you. I see you in the hall and I ask how you are and you say “fine” to me. You always say “fine” even when you are not “fine” at all.” The boys shrugged: “That’s just the way everybody is here,” they replied.

But Franco continued “In Italy when someone asks how you are, you tell them the truth. But not here. When you ask me how I am, I want to tell you the truth. But you only want me to say that I am fine.” Then he asked a pointed question: “So why do you ask how I am doing if you really don’t want to know?”

What a great question, not only for them but for us as well. Why are we content with a simple one-word generic answer to such an important question? There are probably several reasons. First, I think we are a society of people who are always in a hurry. Hurry to the store. Hurry to shop. Hurry home. Always on the run with a list of twenty things to do . . . in a hurry. A quick, noncommittal answer like “fine” suits us just (forgive me) fine.

But I also think there is a deeper, more concerning answer. If I ask you how you are doing and you honestly share with me, you are forcing me out of my comfort zone and face to face with your heartache or health issues, or tough situations. And that in turn begs for a response from me. So I long for that one-word short answer to my question: fine. I have acknowledged you. I have been friendly. I can move on and not focus on the tough issues. And everything is (sigh) fine once again.

In Galatians 6:2, Paul explains exactly why it is important to truly listen to each other.  When we ask how someone is and take the time to look them in the eye and listen, we are showing them that not only are THEY important but what they are facing is important to us as Christians and to Jesus.

And – hold on – but that in turn places us in the position of helping them. Maybe we can offer to mow a lawn or babysit. Maybe their need is deeper than that. Perhaps they are battling spiritually and need someone to agree to pray over them. Maybe a temptation is so strong that an accountability partner is desperately needed. That is how we carry each other’s burdens as sisters in Christ. That is how we fulfill the law of Christ to love one another.

I would like to say that I always stop and take the time to find out how people are doing rather than have an “I’m fine, you’re fine” kind of conversation and hurry on my way. I still fail miserably from time to time. But that is when Franco’s question “Why do you ask how I am doing if you really don’t want to know?” is repeated in my heart and I just have to ask “How are you doing? I really want to know.”

Father, help me to never be content with a “fine” answer when I see someone hurting and in need of your love. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

 R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

• Have you ever asked someone how they were doing and were relieved when they simply answered “fine” and went on their way?

• If so, why did you not want to take the time to see how they were really doing?

 Apply

• The next time you are shopping, mentally keep track of the number of times you either asked or answered “fine” when speaking to other people.

• Ask the Lord to speak to your heart if any of those people need to have someone help carry their burden by stopping to listen. Then obey.

Power 

• Galatians 6:2 (NIV) “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

• Matthew 18:33 (NIV) “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”

• Proverbs 14:13 (NIV) “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.”