“Better to live in a desert than with a
quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”
Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)
That was it! I was done! Once again, even
after repeated reminders, my husband had walked into the bathroom and dropped
his socks b-e-s-i-d-e the clothes hamper. Not IN the hamper, but beside it! I
could feel my jaw tighten as I scrolled through my mental list of zingers to
throw his way. “Are you blind?” “How hard is it to open the hamper and drop in
the socks? Too much effort?” “Do I look like your mother? Your maid? Your
servant?”
And then I did
what I believed all wives were required to do: I stored that incident in my
mind along with all the other times that socks were dropped on the floor, and
anniversaries and birthdays were forgotten and an empty toilet paper roll was
left in the bathroom and . . . you get the picture.
You probably
know what came next, too. A little thing – my husband was 5 minutes late
picking me up from work – and I hit him square in the heart with every single
thing that I believed he had done wrong since the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately
what I just described didn’t happen just once in our marriage but that scene
was repeated over and over with few minor changes.
Then one day the
Lord had had enough of my behavior and He placed in my life an older Godly
woman who shared her marriage with me. She talked about being a newlywed and her
determination to change her husband into her idea of perfection. That continued
on for years until the day she received an unexpected life-changing gift from
her son.
He walked into the kitchen and said
“Mom, I’ve been teaching myself how to use my tape recorder so I taped you and
dad talking yesterday. Do you want to hear it?” She smiled as he hit “play” but
in an instant the tears flowed as she listened to the tone of her voice during
her conversation with her husband.
She said that
not only was her voice negative and her
words accusing and absolutely horrible but she could not escape the hurt in her
husband’s voice as he barely answered “yes” or “no” to her questions.
In that instant
she realized that instead of praising God for her husband and all the good
qualities he brought to their marriage, she was literally ripping him and the
marriage into pieces. “I went to my husband immediately and asked his
forgiveness for my attitude,” she said, “and then I resolved to do everything I
could to be the Godly wife that the Lord had called me to be.”
I have to tell
you, ladies, that I was completely convicted that day of my attitude of arguing
and complaining toward my husband and our marriage and called him at work to
ask his forgiveness. And I would love to tell you that the toilet paper roll
was always full after that and anniversaries were never forgotten again. Not
true.
But somehow
socks next to the hamper were no longer as important as my acceptance and love
of my husband, God’s gift to me. May it be the same with each of you.
Father, I thank you for this man that you
have given me as my husband. May I always remember that he is your gift to me
and treat him with the love and respect that he deserves. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
R.A.P. it up . . .
Reflect
- If someone were to tape record your conversations
with your husband, would you be ashamed or embarrassed by what you say and
how you say it?
- Would the majority of your conversations be affirming
and positive or demeaning and negative?
Apply
- Praise God every day for your husband and all the
unique, wonderful qualities he brings to your marriage.
- Think of ways to praise and affirm your husband as an
important part of your life and then tell him.
Power
- Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) “Better to live in a desert than
with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”
- Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) “Better to live on a corner of
the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
- Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) “A wife of noble character who
can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
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