When I Don’t Like My Neighbor

“The entire law is summed up in a

single command: “Love your

neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:14 (NIV)

           

 “Wow, Mom. Looks like someone left a special “gift” for you on the porch,” my daughter exclaimed as she left for work. “Special” was not the word I would have used as I looked at the heap of dog poop that was piled up on the welcome mat at my door.

We followed the trail of remnants of the “gift” and saw it went down my drive and across the street into the yard of . . . my neighbor.  

It had started a year before when she and her family had moved across the road from me in the country and her very large unfriendly dog began roaming the neighborhood, chasing cattle and neighbors in a 2 mile radius. He especially disliked me and sensing my fear, would sit in my yard and wait for me to open my door.

If I walked outside, it would follow me, bumping me with its nose and growling. I began driving my car to the mailbox just a few yards from my house and decided against future neighborhood walks.  I tried to ignore the situation until the day the dog chased my daughter and cornered her on my back deck.

I called my neighbor, explaining what had happened but received no sympathy.   “You are doing something to make him not like you,” she replied. “It’s your problem, not mine. Dogs are supposed to run loose in the country and that’s what mine is going to do.”

I hung up the phone, crying.  And prayed.  Well, sort of.

I admit my prayers were more like “Make her move, Lord” to “Help the dog to get lost and never come back.” But my heart – and my prayers – slowly began to change as I realized that for her to be so bitter and angry, she must be hurting inside for some reason that had nothing to do with me.

After several weeks of being fearful that either I or a member of my family would be attacked and bitten, I received a phone call. “Someone convinced your neighbor to give her dog away this evening,” the man said. “I know you have had a lot of problems. We all have. Hopefully this will take care of it.” Thank you, Lord!

   

Then the next morning, I was the recipient of the “gift” outside my front door.

Have you been there? The neighbor who will never be neighborly? Every attempt you make to be friendly is dropkicked into next Tuesday? Kindness met with contempt? I do understand.

And yet, God tells me that I am to love my neighbor, no matter what. No conditions like “as long as she loves me” or “until she does something I don’t like.”  And He doesn’t suggest that I love her; He commands that I do.

Just as my neighbor’s actions had to do with her heart, MY reaction to what she was doing had to do with mine. And I needed to be like Jesus – no matter the outcome.

The relationship with my neighbor never improved. She and her family moved away a few months after that incident.

But I learned an important lesson from the Lord: love your neighbor and pray for your neighbor, no matter what. Even when there is poop on your welcome mat.

Father, please help me to love my neighbor and to see her through your eyes of love. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Have you ever lived by a neighbor like the one in today’s devotion?
• When situations became tough, what was your first response – compassion and kindness or glares and harsh comments? Did you pray?

Application

• Journal today’s power verses and the names of your neighbors and pray for them.
• If you find yourself having issues with a neighbor, go back to your journal and remind yourself of the love Jesus wants you to have for her.

Power Verses

• Galatians 5:14 (NIV) “The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
• Romans 13:10 (NIV) “Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
• Mark 12:31 (NIV) “. . . Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”
• Matthew 7:12 (NIV) “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
• Luke 6:27 (NIV) “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”

The Queen of Worry

“Who of you by worrying can add

a single hour to his life?”

Luke 12:25 (NIV)

You know the feeling…it starts small…like a tiny voice somewhere in the far corners of your brain. You try to ignore it, but it demands to be heard and, like a child crying for food, it grows and grows until you can no longer deny that it is there.

Worry. That’s its name. Worry. It creeps up on you, one seemingly insignificant nudging at a time, until it spreads into an enormous stranglehold that threatens to leave you gasping for air.

I am not proud of it but I am the self-appointed Queen of Worry. What do I have to worry about, you ask? Well, let’s see. I worry:

* about my kids when they are small, when they grow up, when they go to college, when they get married (or don’t), when they have children (or don’t); when they apply for a job; when they drive in ice or snow or rain, when they don’t call me back immediately when I call them.

* about my job, my body fat, my crooked teeth.

* about my husband, my marriage, my cooking, my messy house.

* about my neighbors, politics, the economy.

* about what people will think about me, say about me, like or not like about me.

* about what happened yesterday, today and might happen tomorrow.

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And yet, Jesus looks at us, His children, and asks this question in Luke 12:25: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Why is it that, as Christians, we allow worry a sip of our coffee, a chapter in our book, a place of honor at our dinner table? We hold it up like a three dimensional drawing and stare at it from every angle. And we do everything possible to justify why we have the right to worry.

            Honestly, if anyone had a right to worry it would have been Jesus. Just think about what He was facing – death on the Cross – and yet He went straight to His Father with everything He was facing. So should we.

I read a devotional from Max Lucado. In it, he states that worry is both “irrelevant and irreverent.” I can’t get that statement out of my mind. When I worry, it does absolutely nothing to direct a problem in my life to its conclusion any more than throwing a pebble in a roaring river will change the course of that river.

What it DOES do is to affect my outlook, my health and my heart because worry causes me to focus on the problem and not on Jesus. It separates me from the peace that can only be found in Him because – hear me, please – worry is a three letter word called sin. How can that be?

First, worry is irrelevant. All the worrying that I entertain in my mind and heart will never ever EVER make a situation better or solve a problem or bring me peace of mind.

Not one time have I told a friend “I have really been worrying about that problem.” and had them respond “Oh, thank you! I feel so much better now. I know that everything will work out because you have been worrying!”

  

Second, worry is irreverent. Worry is admitting that I do not believe the Lord is able to do what He says He can- and will – do in my life and in the lives of those I love. Worry is a complete lack of trust in a Father who is Creator of all things and the Beginning and End of everything.

Again and again in Scripture, we are told not to worry but rather to “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Colossians 4:2 (NIV). Never are we told to “Devote yourselves to worrying…”

  

Today I intend to give up my crown as the Queen of Worry as I kick it out of my heart and mind and replace it with Truth that can only be found in Him. Care to join me?

Father, I confess that I have kept the sin of worry in my heart. I do not want to give it a place of honor any longer in my life. So I give my worries over to you this very minute. Please replace them with your peace. I trust you to take care of me in every area of my life. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• What’s your very first response when a problem hits? Worry or prayer?
• Why do you believe you respond in that way?

Application

• Keep a journal of problems or situations that have occurred in your life and how you initially responded.
• Write a promise from Scripture beside each problem or situation that will help you replace worry and panic with trust and peace.

Power Verses

• Luke 12:25 (NIV) “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
• Matthew 6:25-27 (NIV) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?”
• Matthew 6:34 (NIV) “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
• Philippians 4:6 (NIV) “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
• Psalm 55:22 (NIV) “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”

Sign on the Dotted Line

“He forgave us all our sins, having canceled

 the written code, with its regulations,

that was against us and that stood

 opposed to us; he took it away,

nailing it to the cross.”

Colossians 2:13b-14 (NIV)

            “Jude is going to ride the “Electric Slide” this year, Grandma,” my granddaughter Ella told me with a confident smile.

“What makes you so sure?” I asked her.  It wasn’t that Jude hated riding the Electric Slide at Silver Dollar City; it was actually just the opposite. More than anything Jude wanted to experience that ride with his brother and sister.

 The problem was that every time they got in line, Jude stood at a distance, hands in pockets, trying desperately to explain that he just didn’t like the ride but failing to hide the fact that he was just too frightened.

“Oh, he will ride this year,” she repeated, “because I made him sign a contract.” I couldn’t believe it! “You made your 5 year old brother sign a contract? Why?”

Ella, with all the wisdom of an 8 year old, replied “He keeps saying he wants to ride and then he chickens out every time. But he really does want to ride it, Grandma. He’s just scared. So I told him that when he signs a contract, he HAS to do what it says.”

            I couldn’t help but ask. “And if he doesn’t? If he changes his mind again, what will happen?”

Ella gave me a sideways glance and grinned. “Well, if he doesn’t ride, Jude is going to have to kiss our dog Sadie on the mouth.” Mercy.

A written, binding contract. Paul mentions it in Colossians 2:13-14. He calls it a “written code.” It was a handwritten acknowledgment by a debtor of his debts, in other words, a type of contract that the Colossians lived by. Paul explained that no matter how hard the people tried to follow every regulation on that code, the result would always be failure.

            In the same way, the Mosaic Law of their time made them debtors to God because of sin. But Paul encourages them with the good news – GREAT news – that Jesus cancelled those debts in that “written code” by nailing them to the cross. He paid in full what they could not.

Here’s my question: what contracts have you “signed” today that you have already broken? The “No-Gossip Contract?” How about the “Anti-Envy Agreement?” Or maybe the “Never Lie Pledge?”

Jesus paid in full what we never could. He tore up those contracts by nailing them to the cross. Allow Christ to cancel the contracts you are holding on to as He forgives your sins and nails them to the cross.

Oh, the end of the story for Jude? When they arrived at the “Electric Slide,” he was too short and was not allowed to ride. He received an official pardon from Ella and she cancelled the contract.   

Father, thank You. Thank You for taking my sins and nailing them to the cross. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Can you think of rules in your life as a Christian that you try to obey perfectly every day?

• Is your record spotless or have you failed in some areas?

Application

• Write the sins in your life that you are struggling with on pieces of paper.

• Tie two sticks together in the shape of a small wooden cross. Tie those pieces of paper to the cross and toss them on a bonfire as you give them to Jesus.  

Power Verses

• Colossians 2:13b-14 (NIV) “He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross.”

• Matthew 5:37 (NIV) “Simply let your ‘Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No’: anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

• I John 1:9 (NIV) “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

• Luke 11:4 (NIV) “Forgive us our sins, and we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.”

• Acts 3:19 (NIV) “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” 

The Itemized Statement

“Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!”

Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.”

Proverbs 20:22 (NIV)

The bitter tone of the woman’s voice in the next room caught my attention as I walked into the office.  Her barely restrained fury made every word she spoke sound like a shot being fired from a rifle.

I had an appointment to have my car inspected at a restore and refinish auto shop after a minor bumper mishap but from the tone of her voice, I assumed the vehicle belonging to the angry woman must have sustained an exorbitant amount of damage. It sounded as though she was having every single part replaced as she listed item after item that needed to be ordered.

“And one last thing,” she concluded. “I want a new paint job. He’s gonna be sorry by the time this is done.” I almost pitied the guy who hit her car. “Must have been some collision,” I thought.

The man talking to her laughed. “What about new leather seats?” he asked. “Sure, why not,” she answered. “He’s got the money. He’s getting the bill.”  

As they concluded their business, the woman walked into the office and, with a look over her shoulder, made one final comment as she left: “He thinks I am just going to have a few things updated on my car. Just wait until he gets the bill! This is going to be great! I’ll teach him to divorce me!” and with a laugh she was gone.

Getting even. Oh, haven’t we all been there? “He said” or “She did” and we immediately believe we have a right to hold a grudge and to inflict judgment ourselves.

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Now, I know you may be thinking “But you have no idea what has happened to me and what he/she did” and that is very true, just as I have no idea what happened in this woman’s divorce. But I can tell you that, after she had inflicted her damage to her former husband’s billfold in revenge, there was no joy in her laugh.

  

I also know that resentment and bitterness do more harm to you than to the person you are resentful and bitter toward. Your physical health is affected immediately and, more importantly, your spiritual health is compromised.

  

Forgiving does not mean that you accept as right the wrong done to you. It simply means that you are trusting God to turn that wrong into a right for His glory.

The woman’s itemized statement was really a list that included revenge, bitterness, resentment, anger and unforgiveness.

If you have an itemized statement like hers, I urge you to truly count the cost and write “forgiven” under the amount due.  

Father, I have had a “get even” attitude so many times in my life. Please help me to look at all situations through your eyes and to learn to forgive. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.  

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Can you think of an instance in your life when someone committed a wrong against you?

• What was your first reaction? To get even or to forgive?

Application

• Make a list of the wrongs that have been done to you.

• Beside each one write “forgiven” and the Scripture that applies. Then forgive.

Power Verses:

• Proverbs 20:22 (NIV) “Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.”

• Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV) “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

• Leviticus 19:18 (NIV) “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”

• Psalm 27:14 (NIV) “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

• Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”