There's No Denying the Taped Conversation

                           “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

Proverbs 21:19 (NIV)

   That was it! I was done! Once again, even after repeated reminders, my husband had walked into the bathroom and dropped his socks b-e-s-i-d-e the clothes hamper. Not IN the hamper, but beside it! I could feel my jaw tighten as I scrolled through my mental list of zingers to throw his way. “Are you blind?” “How hard is it to open the hamper and drop in the socks? Too much effort?” “Do I look like your mother? Your maid? Your servant?”

    Then I did what I believed all wives were required to do: I stored that incident in my mind along with all the other times that socks were dropped on the floor, anniversaries and birthdays were forgotten, the new toilet paper roll was replaced backward or, heaven forbid,  an empty toilet paper roll was left in the bathroom and . . . you get the picture.

    You probably know what came next, too. A little thing – my husband was 5 minutes late picking me up from work – and I hit him square in the heart with every single thing that I believed he had done wrong since the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately, what I just described didn’t happen just once in our marriage but that scene was repeated over and over with few minor changes.

    Then one day, the Lord had had enough of my behavior, and He placed in my life an older Godly woman who shared her marriage with me. She talked about being a newlywed and her determination to change her husband into her idea of perfection. That continued for years until the day she received an unexpected life-changing gift from her son.

    He walked into the kitchen and said, “Mom, I’ve been teaching myself how to use my tape recorder, so I taped you and dad talking yesterday. Do you want to hear it?” She smiled as he hit “play,” but in an instant the tears flowed as she listened to the conversation with her husband and the tone of her voice. 

    She said that not only was her voice negative and her words accusing and absolutely horrible but she could not escape the hurt in her husband’s voice as he barely answered “yes” or “no” to her questions.

    In that instant, she realized that instead of praising God for her husband and all the good qualities he brought to their marriage, she was literally ripping him and the marriage into pieces. “I went to my husband immediately and asked his forgiveness for my attitude,” she said, “and then I resolved to do everything I could to be the Godly wife that the Lord had called me to be.”

    I have to tell you that I was completely convicted that day of my attitude of arguing and complaining toward my husband and our marriage, and called him at work to ask his forgiveness. And I would love to tell you that the toilet paper roll was always full after that, and anniversaries were never forgotten again. Not true.

    But somehow, socks next to the hamper were no longer as important as my acceptance and love of my husband, God’s gift to me. May it be the same with each of you.

    Father, I thank you for the gift of my husband. Help me to treat him with the love and respect that he deserves. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• If someone were to tape record your conversations with your husband, would you be ashamed or embarrassed by what you say and how you say it?

• Would the majority of your conversations be affirming and positive or demeaning and negative?

Apply

• Praise God every day for your husband and all the unique, wonderful qualities he brings to your marriage.

• Think of ways to praise and affirm your husband as an important part of your life, and then tell him.

Power

• Proverbs 21:19 (NIV) “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

• Proverbs 21:9 (NIV) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

• Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”

The Very Best Medicine

 “Sarah said, ‘God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.’” 

Genesis 21:6 (NIV)

    As a nurse, I am aware of several different medications that help a patient to heal. But there is something else that is God-given that can help you and it is laughter.  The idea is not new. It actually was God’s idea. It’s a part of His personality. In Psalms 2:4, we are told, “The One enthroned in heaven laughs.”

    Now, in that particular Scripture, God wasn’t laughing because the situation taking place was funny, but He was laughing. We are made in His image, so we can be very certain He created laughter as part of our personalities.

    There are several accounts in the Bible of people laughing. When God revealed to Abraham that he would be a father and have a son, we are told in Genesis 17:17 that “Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, ‘Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” 

    Then in chapter 18:10 and 11: “Then the Lord said, ‘I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.’” Scripture tells us that Sarah was listening to this conversation and could not contain her laughter as well.

    But because the Lord is faithful, Sarah became pregnant as He had promised and gave birth to a son and named him Isaac, which means “he laughs.”

    California’s Loma Linda University published research regarding laughter. The studies show that there are very positive effects on our immune system when we laugh. They observed that laughter lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases the ability of our muscles to flex, and boosts immune function by raising levels of white blood cells, which fight infection and disease in the body.

    Laughter also triggers the release of endorphins (brain chemicals), which are the body’s natural painkillers. And if that weren’t enough, laughter produces a sense of well-being in our bodies. God absolutely knew what He was doing when he created laughter in us.

    And, did you know that up to 80 muscles are used during a big laugh? A German professor found in his studies that a ONE-MINUTE hearty laugh has the same health benefits as a 45-minute gym workout!! That’s because laughing provides a workout for the diaphragm and increases the body’s ability to use oxygen. (Stop and time a one-minute belly laugh and your daily workout is done!)

    So, is laughter good medicine for us? Absolutely. Yes, we have all experienced or are even now experiencing those times in our lives, as it says in Proverbs 14:13, where “Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.” But laughter can often put a whole new outlook on tough situations.

    Think about events that have happened in your life that made you laugh out loud. How did you feel after you laughed? Sad? Discouraged? Angry? Resentful? Or did you feel like you just got an energy boost from the Lord?

    My encouragement this week, whatever you may face, is to remember that God’s gift of laughter is soothing and healing, and it is indeed the very best medicine there is.

    Father, help me to remember when I am quick to become angry or frustrated or discouraged, that I need to take a breath and simply laugh. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.  

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Make a list of every situation or disappointment, or frustration that has come your way this last week.

• Could any of those situations have had a more positive outcome if you had simply stopped, taken a deep breath, and laughed at what was happening?

Apply

• Memorize Psalm 126:2 this week and speak it whenever a situation occurs and you are tempted to react with anger.

• Stand in front of your mirror with a stopwatch, think of something funny that has happened, and laugh for one minute. Workout complete!

Power 

• Genesis 21:6 (NIV) “Sarah said, ‘God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.’”

• Psalm 126:2 (NIV) “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

• Psalm 2:4 (NIV) “The One enthroned in heaven laughs . . . ”