When We Ignore Wise Advice

                     “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Proverbs 12:15 (NIV)   

   The temptation was too great, and I just had to try it. The reel on Instagram showed the “before” and “after” of using an undereye skin tightener. “You aren’t going to believe your eyes!” it promised. “Bags gone in 30 seconds!” it continued. The woman applying the tightener expressed surprise that it worked as well as it did! ”I wish I had bought more than one tube,” she smiled. I was hooked.

I glanced at the comments section from those who had bought and used the product. “Doesn’t work like it says. It’s a scam. Wasted my money. Don’t buy this - you will regret it!” they advised. But somehow I convinced myself that the product was real. Was it overpriced? Yes. But was it worth it if it worked? Absolutely. Fifteen minutes later, my credit card debt increased by $70.00. And so did my anticipation!

Every day I waited for the skin tightener to appear in my mailbox and I never gave another thought to the advice of those who had bought it before me.  When it arrived, I opened the package, quickly put some of the skin tightener under my eyes, and waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. No tightening. No disappearance of eye bags. Nothing. And I realized it WAS a scam. An expensive scam. 

   Was I warned? Yes, several times from people who had bought the product. But did I listen? No, not at all. Why in the world not? First, I think that I wanted to find an easy way to improve how I looked so I jumped at what was offered without doing some thorough investigating. Secondly, I didn’t heed the warnings in the comments because I believed I knew better than the people who had actually bought the product and tried to use it. 

    And as I looked at the worthless cream and my credit card bill, a Scripture came to mind. Proverbs 12:15 says “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” A fool? Yes, that’s me. If I had been wise, I would have taken seriously the advice from the people who had used the product. Then something else occurred to me: this Scripture applies to more than an eye cream scam. It applies to our lives as Christians.

How many times have we made important life decisions based on OUR wisdom instead of praying, reading the Word, and consulting a strong Christian to give us wise advice and counsel? Maybe it’s about marriage issues, a prodigal child, or living with anger and unforgiveness. We all need guidance at some time in our lives to speak truth to us that is grounded in God’s Word. Jesus has the answer to every question and issue we face. 

So for me, it’s time to stop being a fool, as King Solomon wrote in Proverbs. I have decided that with the big - and sometimes small - decisions I make each day, I will pray, read the Word and, if necessary, seek wise Christian counsel.  Oh, and after 8 weeks of emails back and forth, I was able to get a refund on the scam undereye skin tightener. But best of all, I also learned an even more important lesson: never ignore wise advice. 

   

R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

• Have you ever decided against the advice you sought from wise counsel?

• What was the result of your decision? 

Apply

• Journal decisions that you have been considering recently.

• Beside each one, consider if wise counsel is needed and if so, consult with a Christian friend to listen to you, pray, and advise. Then listen to the advice and pray. 

Power

• Proverbs 12:15 (NIV)  “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

• Proverbs 5:7 (NIV) “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.”

• Proverbs 14:15 (NIV) “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.”

  

Where Is My Focus?

 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 (NIV)

   My granddaughter went downstairs to her dad’s office where he was totally focused on a project for work. “Hey Dad, is it okay if I wear this dress to church tomorrow?” Without looking up from his drawing, he replied “Sure, that’s great.”

   However as she went back upstairs and came face to face with her mother, she received a completely different reaction. “Honey, why do you have that dress on? You’ve gotten so much taller and it’s too short for you to wear.”

   But my granddaughter replied, “Mom, I just asked Dad  if I could wear it to church tomorrow and he said it was okay.” Within minutes Dad was called upstairs and, as his previous conversation with his daughter was recounted, he immediately shook his head. “I should have looked up,” he said.

   In Colossians 3:2, Paul tells the Church of Colossae that they should also look up. But his intent in telling them to keep focused “on things above” has a much deeper meaning. He knew that when we as believers focus on “things above,” we are actually focusing on Christ. And as we focus more on Him, we become more Christ-like in everything we do. 

   Now let me be the first to admit that my focus can get completely thrown off track by the “earthly things” in life. Just as my son-in-law was absorbed with his work, I can become absorbed in “stuff” in my life, like how much money and possessions I have. I can also become focused on envy or jealousy, holding a grudge smothered in anger and unforgiveness, or gossiping disguised as a “just thought you ought to know” comment.

   But when my focus switches to heaven – and to Christ – I begin to understand that “as God’s chosen people” (verse 12) I need to put on His clothing of “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Instead of gossiping about the woman sitting in a church pew quietly wiping tears, I will sit quietly by her side and share her grief.

   I will find no comfort in what I own but will be able to comfort the elderly man in the care center longing for the days when he was healthy and in his home. I will trade impatience for patience with the woman at the gas station or supermarket who is having a rough day.

   Earthly things that have no value will be replaced as my mind is set on things above and on Christ. So my question is this: where should your focus be? And the answer? Look up. 

    Father, forgive me when I focus on the unimportant things of this earth and not on you. Pull me back into your presence. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Have you ever found yourself so focused on everyday situations here on earth that you lost your focus on Christ?

• Do you think it happened suddenly or was it a gradual change?

Apply

• Buy a small chalkboard and chalk and place it in your kitchen or by the bathroom mirror.

• Write Colossians 3:2 on it in the morning and at the end of the day, write one sentence describing how you focused on Christ during the day. Repeat tomorrow.

Power  

• Colossians  3:2 (NIV) “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

• II Corinthians 4:18 (NIV) “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

• John 15:19 (NIV) “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”

My Attitude in Prayer

                        “Be joyful always, pray continually . . .” I Thessalonians 5:16-17 (NIV)

    A man was baptized in my hometown a few years ago. That’s wonderful but not something that makes national headlines. It happens all the time. However, something made this baptism different: this was a man I had spent the last 20 years praying for almost every day.

    But I confess that even though I prayed for his salvation, I wasn’t convinced it would happen. Why? Because I saw him and his actions on the outside and I judged him.  I never stopped to consider that God was doing a mighty work on the inside, on this man’s heart. Shame on me.

    Year after year I watched him and prayed but also judged him by how I saw his life unfold. According to I Thessalonians 5:16-17 instructs, I should have been “joyful always” knowing that I  would “pray continually” for his heart to turn to Jesus each day and God is faithful to answer. 

    Instead, I was judgmental and prideful during my prayer time. I didn’t speak these comments out loud but my thought life did: “Wow, God. He isn’t going to turn to you, is he?” or “I’m not sure even you can change the heart of concrete that man has, God.” And then there is this one: “So many are praying for him, Lord. Why isn’t he changing?”

    I tell you that, to share this: we may not see with our physical eyes changes going on in the lives of the people we are praying for but God is working on the inside to guide and direct them to His mercy and forgiveness, and grace.

    We have no idea the battle that is being waged on the inside for anyone’s heart and life nor do we know the plans that God is putting in place as He fights for His children and their salvation.

    But He tells us to pray continually for a reason: because He, Jesus, has never once stopped interceding for us before the Father. If He never stops, why should we? I should have been trusting God to work in this man’s life and heart but instead, I was judging what I could see with my physical and not spiritual eyes.

    Can I just open up to you and say that there are loved ones in my family that I have prayed for, off and on, for years and I would hate to think that someone was praying for them with the same attitude that I had as I prayed for this man. Do you agree?

    So I have an idea: let’s all resolve to have an attitude of joyfulness as we lift up people all around us who do not have a face-to-face relationship with Jesus. Instead of praying “He probably won’t ever change, Lord” let’s instead pray “I am excited for the day that he turns his heart over to you, Lord.”

    My attitude in prayer. That’s what it comes down to—being joyful as we trust Jesus to speak truth to those around us. It’s not our job to judge if someone is changing inside. Our job is to pray continually, joyfully, hopefully. His job is to change hearts.

   Father, forgive me for using my physical eyes and not my spiritual eyes when praying for your children. Help me to trust you in all things. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

R.A.P. it up . . .

Reflect

• Have you ever prayed for someone for months or even years and felt like your prayers were not being answered?

• Were you trusting the Lord and praying joyfully and continuously or did you give up and stop praying?

Apply

• Journal the names of people that you have prayed over for a long time – months or years.

• Beside each one write “I will joyfully and continually pray for you.” Then make sure to continue praying for them.

 Power

•  I Thessalonians 5:16-17 (NIV) “Be joyful always, pray continually . . .”

• Romans 10:1 (NIV) “Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved.”

•  II Peter 3:9 (NIV) “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Praising As I Wait

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are  my ways higher than your  ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

     Have you ever gotten one of “those” Christmas letters? You know the ones I’m talking about. You read that Johnny has made all A’s  from kindergarten through high school – without taking one book home - and has lettered in football, basketball, track, and golf.  Sally is first in her graduating class at Harvard and has the awful task of deciding which six-figure job offer to accept. Mom and Dad moved from a 3,000 to a 5,000-square-foot home because they needed more room. And a movie producer accidentally bumped into them on the street and wants to make a film about their lives.

    In all fairness, I haven’t gotten a Christmas letter quite like that. (Sally actually graduated from Yale.) And I have some bragging rights, too. I won a plastic dog bowl in a dog food contest when I was in middle school. Unfortunately, my dog ate the bowl.  I hate to admit this but what used to bother me more than anything were not the people and the triumphs they shared in a Christmas letter. 

    What I struggled with were the praises that my Christian friends shared. Praises like “I prayed for a dear neighbor for a week and then he repented and is living for the Lord.” (I have prayed for people I care about for 20 years and they refuse to consider Jesus.) Or “We had no money for food and prayed about it and when we came home, there were bags of groceries on our doorstep.” (We prayed about no food on our table and ended up with peanut butter sandwiches and carrot sticks for two weeks.)

    Please understand. I am excited for my friends and I praise God for the answers to prayer that they have received. It is just that, every so often, I long to be able to share a prayer answered in the same way they have experienced. But with that longing comes a warning. 

    If we are not on guard, the enemy will creep into our hearts, smothering us with envy and resentment as he whispers “Maybe you aren’t spiritual enough or maybe you don’t have enough faith.” and we will begin to doubt our Father’s plan for our lives and question whether He really does care about all of us when we call on Him with our prayer requests.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

    In Isaiah 55:8-9, God clearly tells us that we do not know His thoughts or ways; it is not for us to judge why some prayers are answered more quickly than others. We see everything around us from the perspective of a human, rather than the Creator of the Universe who loves us totally and completely sees and knows everything. Everything. 

    Because my prayers are not always answered immediately in my timing, I have learned to dig deeper into God’s Word as I wait. I have learned patience and complete reliance on Him. I have learned to trust Him to keep His Word to me and I have also learned that I can approach Him with confidence as I ask Him to help me with my every need.

    Winning a dog food contest isn’t worthy of praise in a Christmas letter. But I will praise the Lord with all my heart for the answered prayers of my friends and I will trust Him to answer my prayers, too - in His time. 

     Father, thank you for answered prayer. Please help me to remember you will answer my requests in your perfect timing. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

 R.A.P. it up . . . 

Reflect

• Have you ever felt like everybody else’s prayers were being answered immediately but your prayers were not? 

• Were you happy for those people or did you feel a bit of envy? Explain.

 Apply

• Keep a journal with each prayer request and the date you began praying for that person or situation. Praise the Lord for His answers in His time. 

• Look up Scriptures of encouragement to write down beside each request.

Power 

• Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV) “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”

• Job 37:5 (NIV) “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.”

• Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”